Tiny Steps, Big Leaps: Guiding Your Toddler's Growth – Every Day is a Training Day!

Quick Note From Chaplain David 

My wife and I co-authored this memoir, sharing the principles we apply daily to nurture our toddler into a strong and resilient woman. Her deep well of knowledge comes from a Ph.D. in education and 16 years of teaching experience, complemented by three decades of leading Sunday school for young children aged 3 to 5. As for me, I bring the practical insights gained from raising my 28-year-old son, who is well on his way to achieving his first million. My understanding is further enriched by over 30 week-long seminars on marriage and child development, as well as the valuable experience of instructing marriage seminars for soldiers returning from deployment and their families. 

This memoir is designed to inspire parents to embrace the fun of raising their "Tinies." Beyond the joy, we instill in them the profound value of education and lifelong learning. For girls, this means understanding their potential as future leaders and providers, excelling in school, and pursuing higher education or a valuable trade so that they can earn and contribute significantly. We underscore that this preparation is a vital safeguard, ensuring they can stand firm and support their family should unforeseen circumstances ever prevent a partner from working. For boys, the message is equally clear: diligent effort in school and the pursuit of a college degree or a trade are essential cornerstones for their future ability to care for and build up their own families.

Parenting a toddler is a beautiful, messy, and enriching adventure. Those little feet may be tiny, but every step they take, every word they learn, and every habit they form is a giant leap in their development. And here's the wonderful truth: every single day with your toddler is a training day. It's an opportunity to lovingly guide them, instill good habits, and lay a foundation for a life filled with purpose and discipline.

It might sound intense to call it "training," but think of it as gentle, consistent guidance, just as a gardener tends to a young plant. We're cultivating their character, their understanding of the world, and their relationship with God.

Note: It's essential that what we consume as adults, whether movies or social media content, remains separate from our children's viewing. Those moments and our 'dating music' that my wife and I cherish are special times for us to enjoy privately, ensuring the content Tiny is exposed to is always age-appropriate and wholesome.

Raising Tiny in a New World: A Parent's Evolving Journey

Raising a child in today's world presents unique challenges compared to 28 years ago when my son was young. Now, with my four-year-old daughter, "Tiny," the parenting approaches and societal norms I encountered then feel vastly different. Yet, the core principles of love, guidance, and setting a strong foundation remain timeless. As David Avritt once said, "The landscape changes, but the compass of truth must remain steady."

For instance, navigating gender identity in clothing stores is a new experience. While my personal belief is in traditional gender distinctions, I respect others' viewpoints. My choice is to guide my daughter in understanding and embracing her identity as a girl. This began by introducing her to play makeup, nail polish, girls' clothing, hair accessories, makeup brushes, and pretend earrings, emphasizing the fun of coordinating outfits, makeup, and accessories and wearing pretty shoes. My aim is simply to ensure she has a clear sense of her gender in a world where gender issues are frequently discussed. This is why I believe in early and consistent guidance, just as I would teach a boy that he is a boy from the start.

• Proverbs 22:6 (KJV): "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." This applies to all aspects of their identity and understanding.

  
  

Leading by Example: Showing Up and Shining Bright

One of the most powerful lessons we can impart to our children is the value of diligence and commitment. It's not enough to tell them about it; they need to see it for themselves.

• The Ripple Effect: Your Dedication, Their Motivation: It's incredibly important for your "tiny" ones to witness your dedication and hard work, whether it's at your job, maintaining the home, or serving in your community. When they see you put effort into your responsibilities, they learn the importance of diligence firsthand. This visual lesson in perseverance is invaluable.

• Colossians 3:23 (KJV): "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." Show them that all your efforts are unto the Lord.

• Church: Making Faith Fun and Engaging! Attending church isn't just a suggestion; it's a vital part of establishing a spiritual foundation. But for little ones, sitting still can be a challenge. That's where creativity comes in!

• "Sermon Bingo" for Little Listeners: For Tiny, we've turned listening to the sermon into an engaging game. She has a small notepad and pencil, and every time the pastor says specific keywords like "Bible," "Prayer," or "Jesus," she puts a markdown. We also include the name of a particular book of the Bible if the pastor frequently references it.

• The Reward System (with a bonus!): Once she gets 5 marks, she earns a small, pre-approved snack. The first time we did this, she heard the word 'Bible' and marked it. Then, after reaching her initial 5 marks for a snack, her determination kicked in, and she decided to go for 5 more marks to get another treat! LOL! This not only keeps her engaged but also helps her recognize key spiritual terms. It's a joyful way to reinforce the importance of listening and participating in worship.

• Deuteronomy 6:7 (KJV): "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Teaching them in all moments, even during church, is key.

  
  

Cultivating Generosity and a Heart for Service

Beyond personal habits, we also focus on fostering generosity and a spirit of service in Tiny.

• The Joy of Giving Back: At church, we are training her to give when you can and put it in the offering box. This teaches her the importance of sharing and contributing to the community.

• Luke 6:38 (KJV): "Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal, it shall be measured to you again."

• Tiny Acts of Service, Big Heart: We also teach her to have a servant's heart by making sure she checks the platform and ensures there is a bottle of water on the table, one for the preacher and the other for the song leader. This simple act teaches her to anticipate the needs of others and to contribute to the smooth functioning of the service.

• Matthew 20:28 (KJV): "Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many."

  
  

The Unseen Curriculum: Parental Love and Unity

Beyond individual habits and skills, one of the most profound lessons we can teach our children is through the unity and love we show for each other as parents. Your toddler is constantly observing your relationship, absorbing how a healthy partnership functions.

• Bragging Rights: Building Each Other Up - My wife and I always make it a point to brag about each other in front of our son, Tiny. We'll say things like, "He/she is a very hardworking person." I might say, "Dad is so cool!" or "Mom is so cool!" I usually say, "Mommy always takes care of us and the house, and she works very hard." I always tell my wife I love her with all my heart.

• Affection in Action (and its Funny Lessons!): Our expressions of love become their understanding of healthy relationships. One time, my little one asked, "Dad, why do you spank Mom on the bottom in the kitchen?" I started laughing out loud! I told her it’s not spanking; it’s called a love tap because I love her. "Oh," she said. Now she goes around love-tapping Mom on her bottom, LOL! It's a sweet, if sometimes public, demonstration of affection. Another thing I do is always when I see Mom, I will say, "Sexy Mommy, Sexy Mommy is coming." Now she says it in the stores, LOL!

• Setting the Standard for Love: My goal with these expressions of love and unity is to show Tiny what a loving, respectful relationship looks like. I hope that as she grows, she finds a guy in her life who will treat her with the respect and affection that I show her mom. This early modeling sets a vital benchmark for her future relationships.

• Ephesians 5:33 (KJV): "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." Children observing this love and reverence firsthand build a strong foundation for their understanding of marriage.

  
  

1 John 4:7 (KJV): "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God."⁴ Demonstrating love within the family reflects God's love.

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Our blog platform makes transferring long articles challenging, particularly for posts that exceed 10 pages. To ensure easy access and download of our content, we've provided it in PDF format. We also offer a podcast version for those who prefer to listen, saving you time. Please note that for conciseness, some sources and scriptures may be omitted from the podcast; the PDF includes all detailed references. Thank you for being so understanding!

We appreciate you taking the time to read this ebook. Perhaps you've prayed for guidance from Jesus Christ, your Savior, and are looking for the next step. I would personally love to hear your story or answer any questions you have—you can connect with me on my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/david.avritt.

We also invite you to visit our website to explore more about the hope and second chances we champion. On our site, you'll find easy ways to share this message and contact information for families of those in the jail system. And if you know someone who is incarcerated and needs a Chaplain, please let us know through our website—we're able to reach out nationally.

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